My Brexit.
I Brexited. Reverse Brexited, actually. I moved from the US to London. Last US address: Boston, Massachusetts. So it was a MASSexit, too.
I got on the plane with 3 suitcases, knowing 2 people in London, and having 0 family in Europe. I'm 2 weeks in. Back on day #3, a dude in the hallway asked, "what's the biggest difference for you 'tween here and the US?"
Me: You have fucking national healthcare!
Dude: Oh. I thought you were gonna say pizza.
[The only pizza I've eaten thus far is the free pizza at university events, which is always Papa Johns. So, no it's not different. It's the same bad. But the slices are smaller. Everything here is smaller here. Roads, buildings, bottles of Coke. People. But incongruously, not seats on the train; smaller butts, bigger seats.]
Some first impressions:
The subway does not smell like pee. I'll say that again. The subway does not smell like pee. I have joyfully yelled this into the faces of several Londoners. Most give thin, scared smiles in response. I explain that in NYC and Boston (cities where I've lived), you will smell urine at some point on every subway journey. Maybe cooling on the platform. Maybe lingering on the stairs or pooling in the train car itself, but it's a given. In two weeks, however, of riding various London tube lines at various times of day and night, I have YET to smell pee. I smelled soup last week. I wished it was pea soup because, like, puns or whatever, but it was tomato based.
The Brits really do like their tea. A bomb went off on the tube and this is what everyone back at my hall (student apartment building) did: 1. message wft? to the WhatsApp group chat, 2. make tea.
Eggs in UK grocery stores aren't refrigerated. What else are we refrigerating that doesn't need to be refrigerated?
British guys dance. They wear jewelry. They ask before they kiss you. My gaydar is in the shop being recalibrated to Metric.
More of my statistically accurate, peer-reviewed, double-blind trial tested proclamations to come. Regards, A broad who is abroad